i had a dream....

Our licensing worker emailed me yesterday to let me know that our licensing materials have been mailed to Lansing for the final time and we should receive our license in the mail in two weeks. Praise God! We know that the real waiting will start then, but it will be good to have this initial hurdle cleared. Last night I had a nice conversation with a local foster mother who has adopted two foster children and has had several others in her home. She was very honest, supportive, and encouraging to me. She has a great sense of humor about this trying process and made me feel pretty normal with all my strange thoughts and fears.
After talking to her, I went to bed and fell quickly asleep and had the most disturbing dream. I dreamt that DHS called us and told us that if we wanted to have an infant placed with us we needed to go to the hospital and sit and wait. We hurried there and ended up essentially living in the waiting room for months. I finally decided I needed to go to another floor for a shower while Dan would stay and wait. While I was gone, Dan stepped around the corner to refill his cup of coffee and during that exact minute, they came out with a baby and, not seeing either of us, gave the baby to someone else. I woke up in a sweat at 2am. I know this isn't how it works so it isn't logical but boy was I freaked out. Some dreams are so real you have to convince yourself otherwise after you wake up! I finally did go back to sleep but thankfully did not go back to that dream. I guess it's true what I've heard that the time we are sleeping is when our minds deal with "stuff" through dreams. I clearly have some anxieties over the uncertain nature of this journey and boy did it show last night. The cool thing was that as I was lying there trying to get back to sleep I started praying that God would take care of this little one(s) that will eventually come to us, that He would take my fears away and allow me to rest in Him inspite of the uncertainty. I don't remember finishing my prayer but rather fell asleep asking God to keep His hand on us. Counting sheep's got nothin' on prayer!
Today is cold and quite snowy here and I am off work this afternoon so plan to hole up in my house and try to stay warm. Hope it's warm and cozy wherever you are.
Kendra