on the mend

Today I am again home from work mending from my close encounter with the driveway yesterday morning. I had every intention to go in today, especially since I normally only work 1/2 day on Friday. However, it just worked out that I only had a few people scheduled and they could be easily moved to another clinician's schedule so they called me and told me to take another day if I wanted. I woke up this morning and sort of laid there testing everything to see how sore I was. I expected to feel like I'd been hit by a truck but actually I feel decent. My knee is still a bit puffy, tender, and tight when I bend it and my neck and shoulder are tight and sore but overall I am pleasantly surprised by how good I feel. Thank you God for the amazing ability you created in our bodies for quick healing and recovery.
I find myself today wondering about the little boy who DHS called us about Wednesday; wondering where he ended up and how he is adjusting. I am praying that he is on the way to finding the stability he needs so he can get on with just being a kid. I haven't heard any updates from the social worker so I am operating on the assumption that the situation has been resovled without our help. God is really comforting me, especially in these last few days, that there IS a child out there for us and that he or she will arrive in His perfect time. I'm learning that there is value in the waiting as I learn the amazing calming effect God can have on my spirit when I start to release my death grip of control.
I hope that if you also find yourself waiting on God that you will find peace and joy in the present and sweet hope for what's to come.

Kendra

near miss?

we had quite a shocker yesterday.
we got a call that they may have a 2 year old boy that needs a home.
GULP.
We've been licensed only a few days and already a call.
I spent some time on the phone getting details from the social worker, talked to Dan, prayed hard for God to {quickly} guide us.
We decided that it seemed like a situation that might fit so I called him back and told him we were in if they needed us.
Then we watied - the case involves a couple different counties so there is was some coordination that would need to take place.
As of last night, the social worker from the county where this child originated thought he would be placed in that county after all but she would know all the details today.
So, the door is not completely shut in this case from what I can determine, but it appears to be headed that way.
Last night Dan asked me if I was doing OK with this, and I sat there for a minute and then told him that I felt surprisingly calm and peaceful about it all. This is a bit out of character for me but it felt great and I felt very comforted that God is going to put this little boy in the exact place He has for him. If that is with us, wonderful, but if it isn't, I know that He is working out his perfect plan for His glory.
Praise God for His ability to calm me anxieties and soothe my disappointments.
A good friend of my husbands sent him a text message that went something like this. We know that God is not in the business of toying with our emotions. Perhaps this near miss has happened to remind you that things can happen quickly and we should be prepared for His working in our lives. Well said brother :)
I'm home today from work due to an unfortunate meeting with a patch of black ice in the driveway this morning. The result was a mess of twisted limbs, coming down hard on my knee and wrist, and now a date with an ice pack, Motrin, elevation. I don't think it's serious but as time passes I am feeling some annoying throbbing and frankly aching all over. Hopefully a day of rest and treating my knee nice will take care of it and I will be back to work tomorrow. The funny thing is that this morning, JSUT BEFORE WALKING OUT THE DOOR, I said to Dan that I was feeling some fatigue from the previous day of riding the emotional roller coaster and it would be nice to just have a day off! Yes, those words actually came out of my mouth! Not thirty seconds later the debacle in the driveway occured. Maybe God misunderstood me or maybe I should have been more specific about HOW I would have liked that day off to happen! Just goes to show you have to be careful what you ask for!

oh what a difference an email can make!

I came home tonight, walked in the back door and was greeted by the smell of a wonderful stirfry meal that my husband was creating. It was a nice touch since I had spent the day disappointed since our foster care license had, once again, NOT arrived in the mail. The nice meal with my hubby perked my spirits and after dinner I headed to the office to catch up on emails. THATS WHEN I SAW IT! - an email from our DHS licensing worker. Initially I thought it was just a reply to an email I sent him earlier on another topic but when I opened it I saw these awesome words - "the license was issued as of today". That means that although we don't hold the paper in our hands, we ARE licensed! It also dawned on me that it was exactly two months ago today that we met with the licensing worker for the first time to start this whole process. It has gone amazingly smooth and reportedly much quicker than is average - 2 months versus an average of three to six months. We are still confident that God is blessing this undertaking and we are so excited to now see how He will use us! Thanks to all who have been praying for this process and continue to pray for what the future will hold for us! What a great start to the week!

!?!

day eighteen
still waiting
have a good weekend
hopefully good news by monday

sixteen days

sixteen days.
not fourteen like I was prepared for.
sixteen and counting.
I had my mind set on a fourteen day wait since the licensing worker from the DHS sent in our final paperwork. That's the amount of time he says it typically takes. I don't think I heard the typically part, I only heard two weeks.
Two weeks ended Monday.
No license in the mail since it was a holiday - crappy timing.
No license yesterday or today either.
I finally gave in and called him to see if he'd heard anything. He was very nice and told me that two weeks is average but just to be patient and it would get here.
So we wait. The funny thing is that we are waiting for a piece of paper that essentially gives us the chance to wait some more, maybe days, maybe weeks, maybe months or longer. So I guess what I'm saying is that I'm trying to hurry up and wait. Makes me sound brilliant doesn't it?!?
Hurry up and wait - isn't that what they say the military is like? Don't remember where I heard that - maybe just made it up in my head. It's been a mess in there lately :)
Well off I go to wait some more. Keep praying for our sanity and the safety of the little one(s) that will come into our care (eventually).
Kendra

a funny thing happened....

Just for the record this thing, like most truly funny things, proved to be funny only AFTER the fact! Here goes. For the past week or so, Dan and I have been on a mission trying to track down an unpleasant odor in our house. We would smell it when we came into the kitchen from the garage, but also when we came into the room from the hall (opposite end of the room). We both put our sniffers to work walking around the kitchen like detectives putting our noses in every nook and cranny but we couldn't pinpoint where it was coming from. We initially thought it might be something funky that was left too long in the fridge (not that this EVER happens in my house!!) but a thourough once over of the fridge and freezer revealed nothing. Dan decided to sweep and mop the floor in case that was the culprit. For a day or so the room smelled like Pinesol but soon that wore off and "it" was back. Not sure what else to try, we did nothing for a couple days. Yesterday afternoon we were both sitting at the kitchen table and Dan said we probably should investigate under the fridge (we had already moved the fridge with no success). This was really the last thing either of us wanted to do but eventually I got the flashlight, laid on my belly on the kitchen floor, and investigated. I quickly scanned under it and, seeing nothing, set about commenting on how I was surprised our fridge even ran with so much dust under there. I suppose there are people who think to regularly vacuum out this dust but sadly I am not one of them. Anyway, I had my face right up there checking it out and happen to look all the way to my left and there, tucked way in the corner CLOSEST TO MY FACE was a tiny dead gray mouse! I shrieked, tossed the flashlight, jumped up and raced across the kitchen, like it was going to come to life and eat me or something! My husband decribes it as being shot out of a cannon! After calming down, I commented that I was SOOOO glad I wasn't a boy and sent my husband down there to get it out. He left for a moment, came back armed with pliers, a can of Lysol, and, get this, a chip clip for his nose! I was on standby with a double plastic bag that woudl serve as this mouse's final resting place. A couple of mintes, a can of Lysol, and a trip to the dumpster later, PROBLEM SOLVED! And as a bonus, the dust got cleaned out from under the fridge! I suppose that would be the silver lining to this cloud huh?
Hope everyone has a Happy Valentine's Day. Dan and I were engaged to be married four years ago today on a snowy beach in Northern Michigan. This was a place we like to come and walk, talk, pick up cool rocks; the kind of place you could walk forever and rarely see anyone else. On this day, he took me for a walk, read me an awesome poem he had penned, dropped to his knee and asked me to be his wife! It was an amazing day and he is an amazing man. Maybe I'll dig out the poem andpost it later - it really is pretty awesome. Tonight instead of fighting with the Valentine crowds at restraunts, we plan to make a nice steak dinner here at home and cuddle up with each other and a couple movies.

Simple but wonderful, just like our life :)

this and that

hi all
We are still patiently waiting for our foster care license to come in the mail. Should be here by Monday but I'd love to be surprised with it early. Seems anti climatic that it will just arrive in the mail like any common bill or newspaper. I guess in my head I was thinking there should be some type of ceremony or something or a special postman back lit with sunshine who would make a special delivery with cake and balloons..... Yeah right, wake up and smell the bureaucracy Kendra. To us it's potentially life changing but to the Sate it's probably just another processed application. Talk about different perspectives! No more weird dreams about it thankfully.
The days have been busy lately so I have not taken the time to blog. The Financial Peace University classes at our church are going well and people are warming up to discussions about money and financial strategies and struggles. The upcoming classes cover cash flow planning (aka budgeting) and dumping debt. Dan and I were prelistening to the talk on dumping debt last night and it is wonderful. Dave Ramsey has a way with getting these messages across that is pretty powerful. He was speaking of the freedom that comes when you work hard to release yourself from the bondage that debt brings and I got choked up with once again realizing that that is us! Slaves to the lender no more. I still have a hard time believing it fully. It's like being in prison all your life then someone unlocks the door and opens it but you are hesitant to walk out because even though you hated that cell it is all you've ever known. Weird how it works.
On a different note, I could use some prayers for some transitions I forsee in my career. I am struggling with a major case of discontent at my job right now. I'm not sure if it's me that needs to change or if my discontent is God preparing me for something else. I just keeping praying to Him that I feel like something needs to change because I am loosing the enjoyment I have always had from helping people in their recovery from injury or surgery. Please pray for patience on my part and sensitivity to what God tells me or where He leads me. Deep in my heart I hope He is just preparing me to leave the rat race to be a mom but I am trying hard not to impose what I want on His will. Tall order huh?
Well, sweet dream - wait it's only 7:30 isn't it? - anyway be blessed. Kendra

i had a dream....

Our licensing worker emailed me yesterday to let me know that our licensing materials have been mailed to Lansing for the final time and we should receive our license in the mail in two weeks. Praise God! We know that the real waiting will start then, but it will be good to have this initial hurdle cleared. Last night I had a nice conversation with a local foster mother who has adopted two foster children and has had several others in her home. She was very honest, supportive, and encouraging to me. She has a great sense of humor about this trying process and made me feel pretty normal with all my strange thoughts and fears.
After talking to her, I went to bed and fell quickly asleep and had the most disturbing dream. I dreamt that DHS called us and told us that if we wanted to have an infant placed with us we needed to go to the hospital and sit and wait. We hurried there and ended up essentially living in the waiting room for months. I finally decided I needed to go to another floor for a shower while Dan would stay and wait. While I was gone, Dan stepped around the corner to refill his cup of coffee and during that exact minute, they came out with a baby and, not seeing either of us, gave the baby to someone else. I woke up in a sweat at 2am. I know this isn't how it works so it isn't logical but boy was I freaked out. Some dreams are so real you have to convince yourself otherwise after you wake up! I finally did go back to sleep but thankfully did not go back to that dream. I guess it's true what I've heard that the time we are sleeping is when our minds deal with "stuff" through dreams. I clearly have some anxieties over the uncertain nature of this journey and boy did it show last night. The cool thing was that as I was lying there trying to get back to sleep I started praying that God would take care of this little one(s) that will eventually come to us, that He would take my fears away and allow me to rest in Him inspite of the uncertainty. I don't remember finishing my prayer but rather fell asleep asking God to keep His hand on us. Counting sheep's got nothin' on prayer!
Today is cold and quite snowy here and I am off work this afternoon so plan to hole up in my house and try to stay warm. Hope it's warm and cozy wherever you are.
Kendra