this hit home

gees, i haven't posted in nearly a month! Just been busy I guess but I came across something yesterday that really hit home with my heart and I wanted to share it. I don't know if anyone who reads this has ever struggled with hope delayed in terms of wanting and waiting to have a child but if you have, you might appreciate this also. With very few exceptions, I feel like I could have written it based on my rollercoaster struggles in the past couple years. This is copied from the website of Stepping Stones Ministry. They have a lot of great articles in addition to this one if you're interested in reading more on the subject.

A Prayer for a Woman in Waiting

by Emily A. Getz

Dear Lord, for two years I have been waiting, and again, the answer is "No."

I do not understand why You will not allow me to conceive.

I look around me and I see teenagers with babies...friends who have tried for only one month and are now pregnant...women who "accidentally" got pregnant.
Why is getting pregnant so easy for some women and so difficult for me?
I know it is unhealthy for me to compare, but today I need to complain. Will you listen?
Must I remind You of my situation daily? What will it take?I do not understand "Your will."
Is it really best for me? I want Your will to include certain things for me.
What about those faithful women who are patient and still childless?
There are many things I do not understand.
Lord, let me not make conception a mission and lose sight of the vision.
Please protect me from bitterness, jealousy, and self-pity.
Where would I be without Scripture? Sometimes it is my only comfort.
My husband tries to understand, but it's not the same for him.
I have friends who hurt for me, but they have not experienced what I have.
Thank You. Lord, for Your Word that soothes me.
Sometimes the emptiness and sorrow can be overwhelming.
Thank You Lord, that every day is not as difficult as today.
I know that You have picked me up more times than I even know.
You are doing mighty things for me, even now as I write.
Please be patient with me, Oh Lord.
You love me and don't want me to be in pain.
Learning patience has been the hardest lesson I've ever had to learn.
I fear that, if I haven't become pregnant yet, it may never happen.
I am trying to learn how to be content while I wait, Lord.
I am trying to learn about trust.
Loneliness cannot stay for long, for You lift my head and fill me with Your presence.
How will I respond if I conceive a child? Will I praise You as much as I think I will?
Your gift would overwhelm me. Lord, please use my circumstances to glorify Yourself.
I know that there is but one guarantee.
I know that You have promised to bless me.

In reading this it was comforting to know that
I am not alone in my thoughts, fears, and feelings.
This blessed me and just maybe it blessed one of you too.

35.

Yesterday was my 35th birthday and I wanted to share some of the fun we had. I worked in the morning (it was OK but NOT part of the fun!), my husband picked me up at 1:00 and off we went. We headed up into the thumb (for you non-Michiganders that is the thumb of the mitten that is Michigan) and had a great picnic lunch followed by several hours of relaxing on the beach of Lake Huron's Saginaw Bay north of Caseville. The beach was all but deserted - I think maybe 5 or 6 people came and went through the course of the afternoon. We swam, lounged in the sun, looked for flat rocks for our someday to be constructed backyard fountain, swam again, lounged again, did crosswords and Sudoku puzzles.....all well aquiring a light shade of pink! When we were beached out, we headed north further into the thumb and drove around for a couple hours just exploring any country road that looked interesting. We came across some cool parks, saw quite a few deer, and drove through some of the most beautiful farmland I've seen. Everything looked so green and healthy and tall - just like it should approaching harvest time I suppose. We ended up in Bad Axe for dinner and then headed home into a beautiful sunset as the blue sky gave way to purple then pink, red and orange. What a beautiful way to end a beautiful day! We were sun soaked and exhausted and slept like babies. 35 is gonna be great - I can just feel it! I expect grand things out of the next year but need to remember to keep my eyes on Jesus and let the grand things come from Him, not me. Maybe in another 35 years I will get that down pat! As my lovely colleague TJ reminded me today, I now have to mark the 35-39 box instead of the 30-34 box.......nice reminder Tiff but just remember you'll be jumping a box yourself here before you know it! Love ya!