{sweet}

In the three or so months since we have become licensed foster parents, we have had the inevitable stuggle with patience. We saw the licensing process go so smoothly and quickly we knew God's hand was leading it. So....we sort of assumed I think that we would have a child placed with us right away. Wrong. We have been called several times but in each case, for one reason or another, it has not worked out. This is an instance where I certainly don't understand God's timing but I KNOW that it is GOOD AND PERFECT and am I am clinging to that. A few weeks ago we both seems to be struggling in particular with this ache we have in our hearts to be parents and the unknowns about how that will happen. We had both been kind of lost in our own thoughts and stuggles, a bit short with each other, and, honestly, weren't really interacting all that pleasantly with one another. During this time, I was sitting at my desk working on finishing some charts for the day, and my gaze fell on the coffee cup that was sitting in front of me. This cup has sat there for probably the better part of a year and is typically used just to hold pens or quarters for the pop machine. The front was facing me and I 'd read it a thousand times. It says, "God, when it rains, are you sad?"

For some reason on that day I decided to turn it around and see what it said on the back. As I read it tears filled my eyes and I felt like I had received a personal answer from God to my questioning of His timing. Here was the message that was hiding right there in plain sight the whole time.

...some things are sweeter when they're slow in coming...there you have it.

When I close my eyes I can see and almost feel how sweet it will be....{sigh}

But for now the sweet thing is that I have a God who sees all, knows all, already has it all worked out, and is holding us in the palm of His hands.

Be Blessed, Kendra

a lesson from the garden.

Sadly I have again fallen off the blogwagon. The more often I do it though, the more grace I am giving myself so there is minimal guilt from my end this time. However, something struck me the other day and I wanted to share it with whomever is still checking this blog after such a hiatus.

The front of our house is landscaped with a variety of flowers and bushes. In the 4 years we have lived here they have done fair - nothing to write home about, but not horrid either. With the exception of one. The rhododendron. The first summer we lived here it was basically a dead looking single stick with about three leaves on it. Throughout the season nothing changed. No more leaves. No flowers. Nothing. Summer two - there was two sticks, still dead looking, and still with only a few leaves on each stick. Summer three showed mild improvement with an increase in the number of leaves but still certainly nothing resembling a flower or even a bud. Pathetic. Multiple times over the past three summers I have told my husband that we should just dig it up, throw it out, and put it out of it's misery (and mine). Not sure why we didn't except digging it up would be work and, well, I garden by neglect and laziness for the most part. Anyway, it stayed. This spring it was looking a bit better, but still not very encouraging. I again thought that some garden euthanasia was in order but didn't act on it. One day I was out admiring my husband's work on our front lawn (you go honey!) and I glanced at it and there was what resembled the start of a tiny bud on the top of one of the dead looking sticks! I dismissed it thinking that surely nothing good could ever come from such a struggling, sad plant. It was a few weeks later when my husband nonchalantly said, "Hey honey, that bush bloomed." I assumed he was talking about a different bush so I looked over and LO AND BEHOLD, the rhododendron was supporting a whole mess of beautiful pink flowers! I stood there amazed that there were actually flowers on the dead sticks! I ran for my camera and snapped a picture of it. Later that night I got to thinking about how amazing God's handiwork is. Isn't it just like God to take something that looked pathetic and lifeless - something I would have gladly throw in the garbage - and make something bright, new, and gorgeous from it! Sounds like salvation to me and I, for one, and so thankful that God chose not to throw me out when I was lifeless and dead looking with sin. Instead he gave me new life. Wow. And you thought it was just a flower :)

Have a blessed Memorial Day.

Take time to stop and be thankful for those who gave all for your freedom. I don't understand this kind of courage but thank God there are so many that find it everyday to protect what we take for granted in this country.

Kendra

a pile of rocks

hi there, me again. It's been a month since my last blog. Lots of thoughts but not much time to organize them or write about them.
Anyway......
A few months ago, our pastor did an awesome sermon series from the book of Joshua. One of the stories from Joshua goes like this. God had brought the people of Israel to banks of the Jordan River. Across this river was the land God had promised to them. However, they faced a dilemma. They had to get this mass amount of people across the river safely and proceed with conquering the land. An interesting fact is that at time of year, the Jordan was at flood stage, making the crossing even more problematic. To God, however, there was no dilemma. After camping on the river bank, Joshua gathered the people to hear the Word of the Lord. He then ordered the priests carrying the ark of the covenant to lead them in crossing the river. In Joshua 3:15 the Bible tells us that as soon as their feet touched the water the river stopped flowing! The priests carrying the ark of the covenant stood firm on dry ground in the middle of the Jordan while the whole nation crossed (v 17). When everyone had crossed the Lord told Joshua to to choose one man from each of the 12 tribes and tell them to each take a stone from the middle of the Jordan where the ark of the covenant stood and take it back to where they were now camping. There Joshua set up the twelve stones to serve as a sign, a monument of sorts. In the future, when their children asked what the stones meant they would be able to tell them how God was faithful to His promise and had brought them to the Promised Land by holding back the flow of the Jordan River (4:1-7).
Our pastor then prompted us to think about things in our lives that God had taken us through and he encouraged us to have our own pile of rocks to commemorate God's faithfulness in taking care of us, His children; something that when our children or others asked what it meant we would be able to share what God had done. On the way home that day, Dan and I talked about how we wanted to have some type of pile of rocks to remind us of God's faithfulness and mercy in plucking us off the brink of financial ruin and blessing our obedience to His principles on handling the money He entrusts us with. We kind of left it there with no real consensus on what our pile of rocks would be. Several weeks later, as part of our Financial Peace University class, we brought our shredder to class and Dan and I shredded about 20 or 30 credit cards. That's right I said 20 or 30! You didn't know there were that many different kinds did you? We had long since stopped using them but had tucked them in a drawer. It felt great to shred them and for a while I put the shredded bits of plastic in a small glass candy jar and set it in our office where we could see it and reflect on how far God had taken us. A pile of rocks? Kind of I guess, but it gets better. A week or so ago I was sitting in there, looking at the jar, thinking about nothing in particular, and it hit me what our pile of rocks should be. Our monument to our release from the slavery of debt would emerge of this:

I took the shredded cards and arranged them on a cookie sheet and baked them until they held together in the shape of the letters. I had flashbacks of crafts I had done with my Girl Scout troop 25 years ago! It created some fumes in our kitchen that probably left us a few brain cells lighter but I love how it turned out. The placard in the center displays the scripture that spoke volumes to us from the beginning. We had printed it out and taped it to our bill organizer box so that when we were struggling to get our house in order we could read it and know that God would bless our efforts. It is Malachi 3:10 - "Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this, "says the Lord Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of Heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it." Today I hung our pile of rocks in our office. It is the first thing we see when we walk in the door. We don't want to ever forget where we were and how far God have taken us. I am still astounded every day by the magnitude of blessing that God has showered upon us.

So what has He done for you lately?

What will your pile of rocks be to remind you of His unchanging goodness and faithfulness?

Kendra

wow
it's been a week since I blogged. Not sure where the week has gone but I'm glad I'm sitting at the end of it. The weather here today is Beautiful! Very warm, breezy and SPRINGY! We've got windows open so the fresh air can chase away the stuffiness of winter. I've pretty much recovered from my fall last week - a bit of tenderness yet in my knee but I've been able to get out and take some nice walks in the improving weather this week. I have been feeling conviction about getting back to more regular exercise and I figured I have to start somewhere so I am just taking a half hour walk each night around my neighborhood. Not a marathon to be sure but it's a start. Sometimes I get so sick and tired of constantly needing to restart my exercise habits that I could scream. I guess if smokers should never quit quitting, I should never stop starting!
No news on the foster care front. I think about it a lot but try to stop shy of obsessing. Lately I have been thinking a lot how strange it is that I am waiting anxiously for what realistically is a tragic event in a person's life. For us to start to build our family, someone will have to give up (by choice or force) their child. Granted, their decisions will be what leads up to this, but it still feels like a strange place to be sitting in wait. God has really been working on my heart to grow more compassion for the mothers who lose their children. Not pity, because poor choices have consequences, but compassion for the hurt, regret, and anger that they must struggle with. God is always up to something in our hearts, isn't He? Tonight brings an invitation to a pizza dinner with some friends that we love to spend time with. I think Friday is traditionally their family night, so we feel honored to share it. Have a good weekend. Kendra

on the mend

Today I am again home from work mending from my close encounter with the driveway yesterday morning. I had every intention to go in today, especially since I normally only work 1/2 day on Friday. However, it just worked out that I only had a few people scheduled and they could be easily moved to another clinician's schedule so they called me and told me to take another day if I wanted. I woke up this morning and sort of laid there testing everything to see how sore I was. I expected to feel like I'd been hit by a truck but actually I feel decent. My knee is still a bit puffy, tender, and tight when I bend it and my neck and shoulder are tight and sore but overall I am pleasantly surprised by how good I feel. Thank you God for the amazing ability you created in our bodies for quick healing and recovery.
I find myself today wondering about the little boy who DHS called us about Wednesday; wondering where he ended up and how he is adjusting. I am praying that he is on the way to finding the stability he needs so he can get on with just being a kid. I haven't heard any updates from the social worker so I am operating on the assumption that the situation has been resovled without our help. God is really comforting me, especially in these last few days, that there IS a child out there for us and that he or she will arrive in His perfect time. I'm learning that there is value in the waiting as I learn the amazing calming effect God can have on my spirit when I start to release my death grip of control.
I hope that if you also find yourself waiting on God that you will find peace and joy in the present and sweet hope for what's to come.

Kendra

near miss?

we had quite a shocker yesterday.
we got a call that they may have a 2 year old boy that needs a home.
GULP.
We've been licensed only a few days and already a call.
I spent some time on the phone getting details from the social worker, talked to Dan, prayed hard for God to {quickly} guide us.
We decided that it seemed like a situation that might fit so I called him back and told him we were in if they needed us.
Then we watied - the case involves a couple different counties so there is was some coordination that would need to take place.
As of last night, the social worker from the county where this child originated thought he would be placed in that county after all but she would know all the details today.
So, the door is not completely shut in this case from what I can determine, but it appears to be headed that way.
Last night Dan asked me if I was doing OK with this, and I sat there for a minute and then told him that I felt surprisingly calm and peaceful about it all. This is a bit out of character for me but it felt great and I felt very comforted that God is going to put this little boy in the exact place He has for him. If that is with us, wonderful, but if it isn't, I know that He is working out his perfect plan for His glory.
Praise God for His ability to calm me anxieties and soothe my disappointments.
A good friend of my husbands sent him a text message that went something like this. We know that God is not in the business of toying with our emotions. Perhaps this near miss has happened to remind you that things can happen quickly and we should be prepared for His working in our lives. Well said brother :)
I'm home today from work due to an unfortunate meeting with a patch of black ice in the driveway this morning. The result was a mess of twisted limbs, coming down hard on my knee and wrist, and now a date with an ice pack, Motrin, elevation. I don't think it's serious but as time passes I am feeling some annoying throbbing and frankly aching all over. Hopefully a day of rest and treating my knee nice will take care of it and I will be back to work tomorrow. The funny thing is that this morning, JSUT BEFORE WALKING OUT THE DOOR, I said to Dan that I was feeling some fatigue from the previous day of riding the emotional roller coaster and it would be nice to just have a day off! Yes, those words actually came out of my mouth! Not thirty seconds later the debacle in the driveway occured. Maybe God misunderstood me or maybe I should have been more specific about HOW I would have liked that day off to happen! Just goes to show you have to be careful what you ask for!

oh what a difference an email can make!

I came home tonight, walked in the back door and was greeted by the smell of a wonderful stirfry meal that my husband was creating. It was a nice touch since I had spent the day disappointed since our foster care license had, once again, NOT arrived in the mail. The nice meal with my hubby perked my spirits and after dinner I headed to the office to catch up on emails. THATS WHEN I SAW IT! - an email from our DHS licensing worker. Initially I thought it was just a reply to an email I sent him earlier on another topic but when I opened it I saw these awesome words - "the license was issued as of today". That means that although we don't hold the paper in our hands, we ARE licensed! It also dawned on me that it was exactly two months ago today that we met with the licensing worker for the first time to start this whole process. It has gone amazingly smooth and reportedly much quicker than is average - 2 months versus an average of three to six months. We are still confident that God is blessing this undertaking and we are so excited to now see how He will use us! Thanks to all who have been praying for this process and continue to pray for what the future will hold for us! What a great start to the week!

!?!

day eighteen
still waiting
have a good weekend
hopefully good news by monday

sixteen days

sixteen days.
not fourteen like I was prepared for.
sixteen and counting.
I had my mind set on a fourteen day wait since the licensing worker from the DHS sent in our final paperwork. That's the amount of time he says it typically takes. I don't think I heard the typically part, I only heard two weeks.
Two weeks ended Monday.
No license in the mail since it was a holiday - crappy timing.
No license yesterday or today either.
I finally gave in and called him to see if he'd heard anything. He was very nice and told me that two weeks is average but just to be patient and it would get here.
So we wait. The funny thing is that we are waiting for a piece of paper that essentially gives us the chance to wait some more, maybe days, maybe weeks, maybe months or longer. So I guess what I'm saying is that I'm trying to hurry up and wait. Makes me sound brilliant doesn't it?!?
Hurry up and wait - isn't that what they say the military is like? Don't remember where I heard that - maybe just made it up in my head. It's been a mess in there lately :)
Well off I go to wait some more. Keep praying for our sanity and the safety of the little one(s) that will come into our care (eventually).
Kendra

a funny thing happened....

Just for the record this thing, like most truly funny things, proved to be funny only AFTER the fact! Here goes. For the past week or so, Dan and I have been on a mission trying to track down an unpleasant odor in our house. We would smell it when we came into the kitchen from the garage, but also when we came into the room from the hall (opposite end of the room). We both put our sniffers to work walking around the kitchen like detectives putting our noses in every nook and cranny but we couldn't pinpoint where it was coming from. We initially thought it might be something funky that was left too long in the fridge (not that this EVER happens in my house!!) but a thourough once over of the fridge and freezer revealed nothing. Dan decided to sweep and mop the floor in case that was the culprit. For a day or so the room smelled like Pinesol but soon that wore off and "it" was back. Not sure what else to try, we did nothing for a couple days. Yesterday afternoon we were both sitting at the kitchen table and Dan said we probably should investigate under the fridge (we had already moved the fridge with no success). This was really the last thing either of us wanted to do but eventually I got the flashlight, laid on my belly on the kitchen floor, and investigated. I quickly scanned under it and, seeing nothing, set about commenting on how I was surprised our fridge even ran with so much dust under there. I suppose there are people who think to regularly vacuum out this dust but sadly I am not one of them. Anyway, I had my face right up there checking it out and happen to look all the way to my left and there, tucked way in the corner CLOSEST TO MY FACE was a tiny dead gray mouse! I shrieked, tossed the flashlight, jumped up and raced across the kitchen, like it was going to come to life and eat me or something! My husband decribes it as being shot out of a cannon! After calming down, I commented that I was SOOOO glad I wasn't a boy and sent my husband down there to get it out. He left for a moment, came back armed with pliers, a can of Lysol, and, get this, a chip clip for his nose! I was on standby with a double plastic bag that woudl serve as this mouse's final resting place. A couple of mintes, a can of Lysol, and a trip to the dumpster later, PROBLEM SOLVED! And as a bonus, the dust got cleaned out from under the fridge! I suppose that would be the silver lining to this cloud huh?
Hope everyone has a Happy Valentine's Day. Dan and I were engaged to be married four years ago today on a snowy beach in Northern Michigan. This was a place we like to come and walk, talk, pick up cool rocks; the kind of place you could walk forever and rarely see anyone else. On this day, he took me for a walk, read me an awesome poem he had penned, dropped to his knee and asked me to be his wife! It was an amazing day and he is an amazing man. Maybe I'll dig out the poem andpost it later - it really is pretty awesome. Tonight instead of fighting with the Valentine crowds at restraunts, we plan to make a nice steak dinner here at home and cuddle up with each other and a couple movies.

Simple but wonderful, just like our life :)

this and that

hi all
We are still patiently waiting for our foster care license to come in the mail. Should be here by Monday but I'd love to be surprised with it early. Seems anti climatic that it will just arrive in the mail like any common bill or newspaper. I guess in my head I was thinking there should be some type of ceremony or something or a special postman back lit with sunshine who would make a special delivery with cake and balloons..... Yeah right, wake up and smell the bureaucracy Kendra. To us it's potentially life changing but to the Sate it's probably just another processed application. Talk about different perspectives! No more weird dreams about it thankfully.
The days have been busy lately so I have not taken the time to blog. The Financial Peace University classes at our church are going well and people are warming up to discussions about money and financial strategies and struggles. The upcoming classes cover cash flow planning (aka budgeting) and dumping debt. Dan and I were prelistening to the talk on dumping debt last night and it is wonderful. Dave Ramsey has a way with getting these messages across that is pretty powerful. He was speaking of the freedom that comes when you work hard to release yourself from the bondage that debt brings and I got choked up with once again realizing that that is us! Slaves to the lender no more. I still have a hard time believing it fully. It's like being in prison all your life then someone unlocks the door and opens it but you are hesitant to walk out because even though you hated that cell it is all you've ever known. Weird how it works.
On a different note, I could use some prayers for some transitions I forsee in my career. I am struggling with a major case of discontent at my job right now. I'm not sure if it's me that needs to change or if my discontent is God preparing me for something else. I just keeping praying to Him that I feel like something needs to change because I am loosing the enjoyment I have always had from helping people in their recovery from injury or surgery. Please pray for patience on my part and sensitivity to what God tells me or where He leads me. Deep in my heart I hope He is just preparing me to leave the rat race to be a mom but I am trying hard not to impose what I want on His will. Tall order huh?
Well, sweet dream - wait it's only 7:30 isn't it? - anyway be blessed. Kendra

i had a dream....

Our licensing worker emailed me yesterday to let me know that our licensing materials have been mailed to Lansing for the final time and we should receive our license in the mail in two weeks. Praise God! We know that the real waiting will start then, but it will be good to have this initial hurdle cleared. Last night I had a nice conversation with a local foster mother who has adopted two foster children and has had several others in her home. She was very honest, supportive, and encouraging to me. She has a great sense of humor about this trying process and made me feel pretty normal with all my strange thoughts and fears.
After talking to her, I went to bed and fell quickly asleep and had the most disturbing dream. I dreamt that DHS called us and told us that if we wanted to have an infant placed with us we needed to go to the hospital and sit and wait. We hurried there and ended up essentially living in the waiting room for months. I finally decided I needed to go to another floor for a shower while Dan would stay and wait. While I was gone, Dan stepped around the corner to refill his cup of coffee and during that exact minute, they came out with a baby and, not seeing either of us, gave the baby to someone else. I woke up in a sweat at 2am. I know this isn't how it works so it isn't logical but boy was I freaked out. Some dreams are so real you have to convince yourself otherwise after you wake up! I finally did go back to sleep but thankfully did not go back to that dream. I guess it's true what I've heard that the time we are sleeping is when our minds deal with "stuff" through dreams. I clearly have some anxieties over the uncertain nature of this journey and boy did it show last night. The cool thing was that as I was lying there trying to get back to sleep I started praying that God would take care of this little one(s) that will eventually come to us, that He would take my fears away and allow me to rest in Him inspite of the uncertainty. I don't remember finishing my prayer but rather fell asleep asking God to keep His hand on us. Counting sheep's got nothin' on prayer!
Today is cold and quite snowy here and I am off work this afternoon so plan to hole up in my house and try to stay warm. Hope it's warm and cozy wherever you are.
Kendra

shame?

The past couple of weeks have been pretty amazing and a testiment to God's ability to work everything out according to his plan. We have been planning and praying about facilitating a Financial Peace University class at our church. If FPU is unfamiliar to you, google it and you'll find some great info on learning to gain peace in your heart and life regarding finances. By way of free publicity, God has provided the placement of an article in both the Saginaw News and Bay City Times about our story of righting our financial ship through God's mercy on us. It has garnered interest and for that we are so grateful. The past couple days, though, I find myself dealing with an emotion regarding our rough financial journey that I thought I had worked through. That emotion is shame. Many, many people in the past two days have commented about the article, congratulated me, brought in the article for me, etc. It suddenly dawned on me thatwhile we have been fairly open about the mess we were in and God plucking us off from the brink of disaster, these articles were going public in a big way. It's one thing if your family, church family, etc know your mess, but it's quite another when the entire tri-cities knows your mess. I find myself again working through some embarassment that we were SO disgustingly poor stewards of the blessings God had given us. I have talked to God a lot about this in the past two days and He has over and over again brought to my mind the promise that once we repent of our sin, He has taken our sins as far away as the east in from the west. He already put it aside and so I need to also. It's not about me or my embarassment, it's about the hope of a better way. Thank you God for being the ultimate forgiving, merciful Savior.
By the way, our first class was tonight and it went great. Everyone who signed up came and although the discussion started slow, people are warming up to each other and I am so excited to see God working in our class. I once asked Dan why, with all the people on the brink of financial disaster, God chose US to show his mercy on. We could have easily been bankrupt; in fact we should have been bankrupt. Now I truly believe God chose to throw us a lifeline so we could have some credibility that God's way to handle finances, is the only way to go.

diamond in the rough

This morning, after I had left for work, my husband did something really special to surprise me. We continue to wait patiently (is there any option here?) for our foster care licensing to be approved. The social worker sent it in two weeks ago and he predicted it would take four weeks total to travel all the beaurocratic inroads. So.....to prepare and keep me somewhat sane, we have been working on the room that will be the nursery little by little. It was set up as a spare bedroom with a queen bed and two dressers. Our good friends the Wilsons lent us a crib a couple weeks back so that joined the group. It was starting to look a bit crowded so I mentioned to Dan that we probably would have to take the queen bed down soon, especially since I would like to move one of our recliners in there if we have an infant placed with us. Like any man who's wife talks of having furniture moved, this sounded suspiciously like hard work. We talked briefly about accomplishing it this coming weekend but the subject ended there. This past weekend, while on the way home from a continuing education conference, we stopped to see my cousin and her husband who had so generously offered us some baby things. You see, they have twins who are 1 1/2 so have had tons of baby goods pass through their house. We stopped and visited briefly and were entertained by the Nick and Hannah show. By the time we left they had loaded us up with two car seats, a stroller, diaper genie, playmat, bouncy seat and LOTS and LOTS of misc. baby goodies! They were so generous to us in passing these things along. Thanks Bud and Lindsey for your generosity, support and excitement for our journey. Once we got all this stuff in our soon to be nursery it was more than a bit crowded. So, to surprise me, my husband took down the bed this morning and brought the frame to the basement. When I got home this afternoon and walked down the hallway and into this room it looked....well...like a nursery. Of course my eyes welled up with tears because I want so badly for this all to work out and having the room nearly ready makes it very tangible somehow. My husband knows me well enough to know how much this would mean to me. I've decided that from now until a child is placed with us, I'm going to use the rocker in his or her room as my place to pray for protection for this child and for God's peace for us as we continue to stumble our way through this. As for my husband, well, he keeps finding new ways to show me how much he loves me. I am so blessed to have him next to me on this journey. He's a diamond in the rough and I love him.
Here hoping for a diamond in the rough for all - Kendra

news

Today the article I talked about in my previous post was published in the Saginaw News. It is titled "Bay City Couple Found Freedom in Frugality". Freedom in Frugality sounds like a great title for a book doesn't it? Hmmmmm...... Anyway, the timing was perfect as we have our last preview of the class this Thursday and then start the 13 week series next Thursday. Once again, God shows up with perfect timing. If you want to check it out click here
http://www.mlive.com/news/saginaw/index.ssf/2009/01/bay_city_couple_found_freedom.html
Other than the picture that makes me look suspiciously like a Chinese hyena being prodded with a sharp stick (too bad since there were several nice ones in the bunch he took), I was pleased with the article overall. I wished they would have included some of the references to tithing, how much the Bible has to say about money, and all the amazing blessings God brought to us in this quest, but I know they have to remain PC.
Enjoy the article, pass it along, and be blessed.
BTW, kudos to my sister, Nicole, who took a huge leap of faith this week and started homeschooling her kiddos after being tugged and prodded by God and that still and not alway so soft voice He has. I'm proud of you Nic for following God's leading even in an unfamiliar direction. May we all be so bold. Check out Nicci's blog at http://www.tablescrapnic72.blogspot.com/

how cool is God?

the answer?
pretty dang cool.
let me tell you one of a million reasons why.
Dan and I are facilitating a Financial Peace University class at our church starting Jan 29th. It is a biblically based 13 weeks class designed to help people understand the forces behind their financial stress, create a budget they can follow, set goals they can achieve, and make things right financially, spiritually and emotionally. We feel a passion to do this because over the past three years our lives have been changed by the grace of God in His leading us to a similar class and seeing us through the process of righting our financial ship. Three years ago: over $83,000 in debt. Today: debt free except for our mortgage. Without a doubt it was a God thing.
In an effort to promote this upcoming class to the community, Dan sent a press release to two local papers hoping for free publicity. A couple weeks went by and we didn't hear or see anything so figured they had passed. Then, early last week, a reporter from the Saginaw News called Dan. She told him she had received his press release but wondered if he could put her in contact with someone who had been personally effected by the principles taught in this class. HOW COOL IS THAT?

Dan started telling her our story and that led to her interviewing me also by phone that afternoon and sending a photographer to our house the next evening to shoot a pic for the paper. The photographer was a nice young guy from Florida interning in the area. He took our pic for the paper but also posted it on has blog with a short synopsis of the story. Check it out at

http://ocantilli.wordpress.com/2009/01/17/you-have-to-be-able-to-help-yourself-before-you-can-help-anyone-else/
We still aren't sure when the article will run in the Saginaw News but will keep checking and let everyone know ASAP. We're praying it is in there soon since our class starts the 29th and we'd love to draw in some community people through the article.
God is so cool that we asked for a press release and He gave us a full blown article as a platform to connect to people about how aligning our finances with God principles kept us from bankruptcy.
We could be bankrupt; in fact, we should be bankrupt, but in addition to being cool, he is outrageously merciful to His children and we will never the same.
As your week gets started, take a minute to reflect on the downright cool things God does for you.
Be Blessed, stay warm, praise God.

saturday, sweet saturday.

today is saturday

and i am sitting in my cozy robe

watching it snow and blow outside

no demands on my time

no schedule to follow

ahhh......

oh, i'm sure i'll venture out eventually

cupboards are pretty bare afterall

but for now it's just an exercise in relaxing

and who knows....

i may just decide to keep this robe company all day

the groceries will still be there tomorrow right?

after the busy holidays quiet weekends are a welcome respite

ok, rambling over, or at least interrupted momentarily.

I do want to share that this Wed our application etc was sent to Lansing for approval of our foster care license.

Can I get an AMEN??

Our licensing worker estimates that in four weeks (equal to just minutes when dealing with government...) we should be officially licensed and eligible to have a child placed with us.

GULP.

Please pray for no glitches in the approval process and also continue to keep this precious little one in your prayers for protection. On the way home from work yesterday I was listening to our local Christian radio station and a phrase from a song hit me - "somehow our story is a part His plan..." not sure of the song or artist but the words have been on a loop in my head and I find comfort in that - keeps my brain from wondering into the abyss of what if....

On a completely different note....since I didn't blog over the holidays, I wanted to share a picture from our family Christmas. My parents arranged for a family sleigh ride at a local farm and this is my and my hubby all decked out and ready to go and one of the whole gang. It was very cold but fabulous!

Here's hoping your Saturday is sweet and easy.

forward

This week my husband sent me an email FORWARD, which some of you realize was a risky move on his part. For the most part I hate forwards and usually delete them without reading them. I don't usually have time to read through them all and frankly don't believe the world will stop turning if I don't forward it to 12 people in the next 7 minutes. That being said, he has learned to be VERY selective with what he sends me so when I saw this I went ahead and opened it. It is called "Satan's Meeting" and I found it to be quite powerful. It's long and I apologize for that but I think it has a lot to say that we need to hear.

Satan called a worldwide convention of demons.
In his opening address he said, "We can't keep Christians from going to church."
"We can't keep them from reading their Bibles and knowing the truth."
"We can't even keep them from forming an intimate relationship with their Savior."
"Once they gain that connection with Jesus, our power over them is broken."
"So let them go to their churches; let them have their covered dish dinners, BUT steal their time, so they don't have time to develop a relationship with Jesus Christ.."
"This is what I want you to do," said the devil:
"Distract them from gaining hold of their Savior and maintaining that vital connection throughout their day!"
"How shall we do this?" his demons shouted.
"Keep them busy in the non-essentials of life and invent innumerable schemes to occupy their minds," he answered.
"Tempt them to spend, spend, spend, and borrow, borrow, borrow."
"Persuade the wives to go to work for long hours and the husbands to work 6-7 days each week, 10-12 hours a day, so they can afford their empty lifestyles."
"Keep them from spending time with their children."
"As their families fragment, soon, their homes will offer no escape from the pressures of work!"
"Over-stimulate their minds so that they cannot hear that still, small voice."
"Entice them to play the radio or cassette player whenever they drive." To keep the TV, VCR, CDs and their PCs going constantly in their home and see to it that every store and restaurant in the world plays non-biblical music constantly.."
"This will jam their minds and break that union with Christ."
"Fill the coffee tables with magazines and newspapers."
"Pound their minds with the news 24 hours a day."
"Invade their driving moments with billboards."
"Flood their mailboxes with junk mail, mail order catalogs, sweepstakes, and every kind of newsletter and promotional offering free products, services and false hopes.."
"Keep skinny, beautiful models on the magazines and TV so their husbands will believethat outward beauty is what's important, and they'll become dissatisfied with theirwives. "
"Keep the wives too tired to love their husbands at night.""Give them headaches too! "
"If they don't give their husbands the love they need, they will begin to look elsewhere."
"That will fragment their families quickly!"
"Give them Santa Claus to distract them from teaching their children the real meaning of Christmas."
"Give them an Easter bunny so they won't talk about His resurrection and power oversin and death."
"Even in their recreation, let them be excessive.""Have them return from their recreation exhausted.""Keep them too busy to go out in nature and reflect on God's creation. Send them to amusement parks, sporting events, plays, concerts, and movies instead."
"Keep them busy, busy, busy!"
"And when they meet for spiritual fellowship, involve them in gossip and small talkso that they leave with troubled consciences. "
"Crowd their lives with so many good causes they have no time to seek power from Jesus.""Soon they will be working in their own strength, sacrificing their health and familyfor the good of the cause."
"It will work!""It will work!"It was quite a plan!
The demons went eagerly to their assignments causing Christians everywhere to get busier and more rushed, going here and there.
Having little time for their God or their families.
Having no time to tell others about the power of Jesus to change lives.
I guess the question is, has the devil been successful in his schemes?
You be the judge!!!!!
Does "BUSY" mean: B-eing U-nder S-atan's Y-oke?

The part that pricked at my conscience was "distract them from gaining hold on their Savior and maintaining that vital connection throughout their day". Yikes. I never really thought of the busyness of my life as a way Satan tries to keep me from connecting to God. Truth be told, lots of days he's pretty successful at it. By the time I turn around the day is gone and I've spent precious little time with God. This forwarded message, that I would have routinely discarded with annoyance, has been a timely reminder for me. Thanks honey for passing along the right things :)

Have a great weekend rain walkers - K

back to blogging

For those of you who have been checking and checking and checking my blog over the past several months only to see that I had apparently fallen off the face of the earth, thank you for your persistence. I'm not all together sure why I took a hiatus - maybe just needed some anonymity to my thoughts - but I hope to be back more regularly now.
The past couple months have been busy for us, not only in terms of the holidays, but because we have been pursuing licensing as foster parents. Our hope - to foster an infant or toddler whose parents have or will have their rights terminated and then pursue adoption. We have by no means ruled out trying invitro again and in fact had planned to try again in January. However, as it got closer, it just wasn't sitting well in my heart. After a hard, teary conversation, we decided to put that aside for now and see where this road leads us. I am so thankful to God for that sense of discontent that He sometimes uses to steer us. We first started inquiring about this possible avenue for starting a family back in November. At the recommendation of the licensing worker from the Dept of Human Services, we enrolled in and completed several weekends of training called PRIDE training. A Foster Parenting 101 so to speak. We finished the course right before Christmas and met with Chris, the DHS licensing worker, to start the application process. It has all just seemed to fall into place with a comfortable ease. God seems to be just quietly opening little doors and asking us to go through them. With a bit of trepidation we have chosen to do just that. He opens, we follow....... He opens, we follow..... Yesterday we had our final meeting with Chris and all of our applications, questionnaires, inspections, clearances, etc, etc, have been completed and turned in. All the hoops jumped through, i's dotted and t's crossed. Now we are left to wait. He anticipates it will take around four weeks to do the paperwork shuffle between here and the state powers to be in Lansing. At that point, we will be licensed to care for up to two children, age range between 0-5. Then the real waiting begins. There is no telling how long we will wait for a child to be placed with us. Could be days, could be months or longer. The waiting is already bothersome for me so I have been trying to focus on praying for our child. I don't know who he or she is, if they have been born yet or even conceived yet, but I am praying. My prayer isn't long or fancy - just that God, in his amazing miraculous way, would place a hedge of protection around our future child and the harm that is or will be imposed on him/her. You see, kids that are in good circumstances don't get taken away. The child we receive will have experienced some type of abuse or neglect. That makes me sick but I know God is able to protect that child and bring him/her to us.
We would love your offerings of prayers to our amazing God for this situation. We have already seen prayer answered in the speed and smooth sailing that the application process has been. Average time to get licensed is 3-6 months so we set out to shoot for the 3 months and actually are on pace to be licensed in 2 months! Praise God. That just confirms my belief that He has someone out there who needs us as much as we need them.
By the way, I know there are those of you out there who are saying that I know so and so who took in a child for this length of time and tried to adopt them only to have them returned to their parents...... We know that this road is not free of potentials for heartbreak and raw disappointment. We are praying for the best and preparing for all possibilities. Right now this is where God is leading and there is peace for us in the following.
It feels good to be blogging again.
Sleep well blog watchers :) Kendra